Embracing the Unknown

This story begins last summer, when after a session in the Sacred Fires I received a very clear message – SELL THE HOUSE!

Now, this is something Hubby and I had discussed periodically, but the urgency of the message was loud and clear, and I’ve learned never to ignore those messages. Well, this three-word instruction would initiate a dynamic journey to say the least.

Our house is coming on 23 years in age, so, needless to say, there were some updates we required to complete before we could put it on the market. This necessitated home-improvement loans to tackle. This would begin the churning of a perfect storm.

I set out applying for loans and qualifying for the sums I needed using the income of our network marketing business. Two weeks after I signed the papers for the last loan, an ominous email informed us that in six weeks time this business would no longer be paying out leadership bonuses or commissions due to government intervention.

And cue sweating bullets.

What? Holy cow! We were really under the gun to sell this house now! Luckily, this line of income was not our primary one, but the void of thousands of dollars a month – the income I depended on to make these new payments – was certainly felt. I could feel my root beginning to quake insecurity to the surface of my awareness as the tightening of uncertainty began to affect my normally expanded state.

After months of renovations, we were ready to put the house on the market in August. I had timed it perfectly on 8/8 to draw upon the Lions Gate energy, did everything a priestess would do to bless the endeavor – light candles, make decrees, set sacred geometries on the property, but the house sat with very little to no interest.

With a whole month of negligible activity, we changed realtors. She gave me hope that we still had time to sell before the end of the year, so we looked at possible houses in the area to buy on a contingency. No matter how many houses we looked at, though (except one) none fit the bill for our needs. And the house that I fell in love with in the area I wanted to be in, sold while our house sat, still with no interest.

The holiday season was upon us, and I watched the leaves fall around me like my dried hopes of a quick sale and before long, Christmas season was upon us; it was crickets on the real estate frontier, so we took the house off the market.

My husband returned from his stint at work with some dreadful news. His contract would be ending in the Spring, and he would be officially unemployed.

And cue sweat again!

Needless to say, this whole time, I was wrestling with my fear – fear of being homeless and broke. Fear of the unknown. I could feel this dark uncertainty rolling its way out of my warm sense of security to the surface of my awareness, trampling my sleep and smothering my thoughts. But, after enduring days of this torment, I finally decided to face the creature of my fear.

I looked at the red eyes of the black bull, snorting my own fears upon my face into a cloud around me. I summoned all the Sacred Fire strength within me and grabbed it by the horns. I started flinging it around, landing each of its thuds with a statement –

So we loose the house and have to claim bankruptcy, so what? Thud.

So we loose everything and have to live in the RV, so what? Thud.

So we don’t know what’s around the corner, so what? Thud.

With every toss, I finally began to regain my bearings and find light in my mind again. My torment and ultimate victory had offered rewards that only a perfect storm could offer.

During my period of fearful torment, one of my dear friends had noticed that I was out of sorts, and she had invited me over for some reiki sessions, which really helped to sooth my root center. While at her house, I met a dear friend who would offer solutions to my personal financial situation. I could feel that Mother was offering me a lifeline.

With the help and advice of my dear friend, I began work on straightening out our finances, and as I did so, I started to feel more empowered. I look back at this situation today, and I see cosmic alignments take place – had I not been lost in such a tailspin, I would have never been at the right place at the right time to receive the help I needed.

So here I am, at the writing of this entry, and I see the genius at play within the perfect storm that landed upon us. I understand that my Mighty I AM Presence could see what was headed our way, and that it knew EXACTLY how I would respond to the circumstances; it knew the journey I had to endure with my fear so to harvest the gifts it desired to offer me in new connections and solutions.

My husband was offered a dream job in Italy (with bonuses to boot) where we could actually start a new adventure together. Our house is finally getting healthy interest, and our first offer is on the table. No wonder none of the houses we looked at locally were “fitting the bill!”

Mother understood the weariness of our situation and had answered in kind with a solution, but we couldn’t see it at the time. On a deeper, more spiritual level, the situation offered me an opportunity to strengthen my Faith, to purge fear hidden in my root, and to reclaim my power over it. I can feel the hand of Goddess Isis directing all that has transpired with Hubby’s work opportunity, and I know it is all in divine orchestration for what lies ahead in my journey as a Sacred Fire Priestess, but that is a post for another day!

May all Light Workers have the fortitude to admit the presence of fear when it surfaces, instead of pretending we are “too evolved” to actually have it. May we all have the courage to “take the bull by the horns” and reclaim our power over fear, for one never knows the gifts of embracing the unknown.

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